What happens in Benidorm stays in Benidorm?
This seems like a very random title for my blogpost but I have my reasons for mentioning one of my favourite places i.e. Benidorm. Yes, I never thought I would say this, but Benidorm is where I would choose to go every time on a Saturday afternoon. What I love about the party town is that it doesn’t try to be something it is not. It has no pretention – what you see is what you get. It has a frank honestly about itself which I think is one of the attractions. The characteristic of honesty is incredibly important when approaching mediation, but sometimes soon after separation or a divorce, seeing things for what they are can be very challenging. Emotion creates a distortion, which makes reality somewhat different from what it really is. Many things can help with gaining objectivity such as counselling, or for many it is the passing of time.
Back to the joys of Benidorm! One thing that Benidorm has are copious crowds of people – groups of men and women enjoying themselves. For many there is an unspoken promise amongst them as to what happens in Benidorm stays in Benidorm. It is a place for experimentation and trying out new things in a safe environment, especially for the younger people on their first trip abroad. Mediation is very similar. For the majority of people I meet, it is the first time they have been in this situation and it has the feeling of being in a foreign land. It is stressed in the first meeting that the mediation room is a place where you can safely make suggestions and think outside the box without the fear of it being repeated outside. The confidential nature of mediation is reinforced by the agreement to mediate which the clients sign before starting – “What is said in the mediation room stays in the mediation room”.
It needs to be stressed that coming to mediation is not a holiday, it can be a challenging environment but for many it leads to a destination which is calmer and brighter for everyone concerns. There may be the odd rainy day, but Benidorm also has these, it is part of life and mediation is there to hopefully clear the sky of those dark clouds.
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